Well, I haven’t been checked and it’s too early to tell if the Cassadex has even made a dent in the process. I don’t like not knowing, I do think I’ve isolated the fact that the weird dreams, especially in the mornings, are due to that drug.
Plus, to say all the drugs I have to take in the mornings just to feel “normal” change my brain chemistry would be a huge understatement! I don't have enough adjectives!
I once mentioned that I was taking a drug that caused so many weird dreams that I felt as if I should eat popcorn before I go to bed. The oral chemo is kinda like that. This stuff would’ve been great in 60’s!
The effects of my fall are finally beginning to heal. I still walk around with the walker but I don’t need it…..I’m just soooooooooo weary of another fall! I have to make myself self-sufficient though!
Where do I go from here? I feel as if I’m High all the time…..it’s not so bad but it sure ain’t normal! And I go on a Magical Mystery Tour every morning! One day last week I was waking up and thought I smelled my Grandmothers perfume.....I thought, Well this is it!…..they’ve come for me! OK……….so it turned out to be the Bug guy spraying but that’s the kinda stuff I wish I knew.
A couple of things: Have you noticed how; lately, so many people on TV use the term “The Exact Same”? Isn’t that redundant?
Hurricane Issac is an unfortunate distraction, but even as a Romney man, I wonder why someone didn’t question the judgment by the RNC to locate their convention in Florida.....During Hurricane Season!!!!!!!!!!
Since it wasn’t a direct hit it doesn’t really matter now if they have it in Cleveland…..the same changes would have been made, the Governors all would have flown back to lead their state and they would have had to make the same scheduling changes. But damn guys think things through!
I sure hope this post doesn’t make everybody think I’ve gone crazy…I assure you I haven’t and hope to be able to get off the Cassadex soon.
Keep those Prayers and Spiritual lights coming! I love you all! Bob
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Life From Here. Update to the Update
Whoa! I guess the Hospice comment freaked out everybody (including me). I kinda think the Doc mentioned it for general daily care vs. end of life counseling.
Granted, I would have rather he had said call “Acme Nursing” or something other than Hospice but judging from the responses I got my last post seemed to make everyone feel as if the Priest was there, I had tubes coming out my nose, and probably wouldn’t see Labor Day! Hell it weren’t for my leg I was planning to go to the beach Labor Day!
I’m still very optimistic that the new drug will do something. It was developed for men that are where I am in the process which is rare…most are developed for newly diagnosed patients. It just needs to get final approval by the FDA which they now are saying may be November. There is the possibility that they will allow certain patients to get the drug before then for humanitarian purposes. The drug is called Motivnia.(sp) If anyone has influence with the FDA please see it you can kick a few desks around and find out what’s up.
I appreciate the outpouring of support. The bottom line here is I don’t plan on going anywhere; I’ve already out lived 6 people on my list. I just relayed where things stand.
I hope to have my phone and email back to normal within the next week and can be more responsive.
Again, thanks for the Spiritual Energy and Prayers! Bob
Granted, I would have rather he had said call “Acme Nursing” or something other than Hospice but judging from the responses I got my last post seemed to make everyone feel as if the Priest was there, I had tubes coming out my nose, and probably wouldn’t see Labor Day! Hell it weren’t for my leg I was planning to go to the beach Labor Day!
I’m still very optimistic that the new drug will do something. It was developed for men that are where I am in the process which is rare…most are developed for newly diagnosed patients. It just needs to get final approval by the FDA which they now are saying may be November. There is the possibility that they will allow certain patients to get the drug before then for humanitarian purposes. The drug is called Motivnia.(sp) If anyone has influence with the FDA please see it you can kick a few desks around and find out what’s up.
I appreciate the outpouring of support. The bottom line here is I don’t plan on going anywhere; I’ve already out lived 6 people on my list. I just relayed where things stand.
I hope to have my phone and email back to normal within the next week and can be more responsive.
Again, thanks for the Spiritual Energy and Prayers! Bob
Friday, August 17, 2012
Life From Here--Whew!
I’ve lost 3 weeks…It’s been 3 weeks today that I fell in the Drug Store.
I sent out mail to most of you. It put me down, more later. I lost my phone and Internet all at the same time. So I’m late in my update.
Last week on AMC, I watched the original MATRIX movie……for the 9th time. That film best tells my beginning and current approach to this adventure. I’m of course the hero, Kenau Reeves and the “Agents” are the “beast”.
Last Tuesday I asked one of the best Oncologist in the country what was next and he said there is no next. I’m trying an oral drug that I’ve used in the past called Cassadex but it’s only to slow things down. I tell ya, they expected me to be dead by now….but here I am still being a pain in the ass. At the time I’m waiting for FDA approval of a new drug that has passed clinical trial and is just waiting for final approval. I’m just in a state of waiting. I did ask the Doc the dreaded question “How long do I have?” His answer….”It’s impossible to tell”.....In a bad real estate market I used to tell people if they were asked how was real estate to answer “It’s unbelievable” that pretty much covered it without commitment. He also used the work nobody in treatment wants to hear: Hospice! He asked if had enough care.
The fall caused me to literally have to sit on my ass for 3 weeks and when your “Life is From Here” that’s an eternity. I had company, I like company, cause for the last 3 weeks I haven’t been able to go anywhere.
The Fall: I had to go to the Drug Store. I’ve been pretty stable lately and may have gotten a little complacent, but I was in the cosmetic section and saw a ball similar to one I had bought my grand daughter and reached to get it……I felt myself going over and started say “oh no, oh no”!! There I was…….sprawled….right under the security camera…..When Sking you’re taught to first just lay there which I did….then I did something I thought I would never do and that is yell “HELP”. A young couple came by and I was helped up. The manager helped me out to the car and I went home. I was fortunate not to have broken my hip (I just hyper-extended my left leg) and since there have been 3 recent hip breaks with my parents…all the paraphanyia needed, wheel chair, crutches etc. was already there I was able to determine a broken hip or not. I’ve never broken a bone before and never felt pain like that before so I figured I had broken it. But I was an invalid for 3 weeks!!!
I saw most if not all of the Olympics! I thought Ping Pong was claustrophobic until I saw DOUBLES!!! And who knew there were so many different ways to play volleyball and soccer? And Cheerleading? They have Gymnastics!!!
I had a lot of time to reflect…some mornings….before the drugs would take affect I would wonder “what does it feel like to die?….would I know? Will I go to sleep? Is today the day? "It's impossible to tell!"
OK, you control all the money. A man and his wife and child show up and says “Please give me some money and I’ll feed my family tonight” At the back door is a man that says “Give me the money for my business and I’ll give the other man a job and he’ll feed his family every night!” What part of that doesn’t make sense? It’s the fish thing in the Bible for Gods sake!
OK let's do the math: 14% of $20,000,000 is $2.8 million in taxes.....Even 25% of a Walmart managers say...$100,000 is only $25,000.....who paid the most?
A General Motors ad for Chevy says they have had their greatest year! What does that mean? It wasnt for volume, or profit and they still owe the tax payers 25 Billion dollars which we will probably neve see a dime of. That's my dollar paying for the ad Mr. President!
I usually flip the bird when I see a Prius!
Ya know I do have a plan “B”. Plan “B” is the plan of survival….maybe not total recession but close. Ya know, I’ve never tried to look at this any other way.
I’ve been saved by the bell, pulled from the train….so many times
I’ll have some “splainen” to do to my creditors but it would be fun and worth it!
Thanks for the Spiritual Energy and Prayers. Bob
I sent out mail to most of you. It put me down, more later. I lost my phone and Internet all at the same time. So I’m late in my update.
Last week on AMC, I watched the original MATRIX movie……for the 9th time. That film best tells my beginning and current approach to this adventure. I’m of course the hero, Kenau Reeves and the “Agents” are the “beast”.
Last Tuesday I asked one of the best Oncologist in the country what was next and he said there is no next. I’m trying an oral drug that I’ve used in the past called Cassadex but it’s only to slow things down. I tell ya, they expected me to be dead by now….but here I am still being a pain in the ass. At the time I’m waiting for FDA approval of a new drug that has passed clinical trial and is just waiting for final approval. I’m just in a state of waiting. I did ask the Doc the dreaded question “How long do I have?” His answer….”It’s impossible to tell”.....In a bad real estate market I used to tell people if they were asked how was real estate to answer “It’s unbelievable” that pretty much covered it without commitment. He also used the work nobody in treatment wants to hear: Hospice! He asked if had enough care.
The fall caused me to literally have to sit on my ass for 3 weeks and when your “Life is From Here” that’s an eternity. I had company, I like company, cause for the last 3 weeks I haven’t been able to go anywhere.
The Fall: I had to go to the Drug Store. I’ve been pretty stable lately and may have gotten a little complacent, but I was in the cosmetic section and saw a ball similar to one I had bought my grand daughter and reached to get it……I felt myself going over and started say “oh no, oh no”!! There I was…….sprawled….right under the security camera…..When Sking you’re taught to first just lay there which I did….then I did something I thought I would never do and that is yell “HELP”. A young couple came by and I was helped up. The manager helped me out to the car and I went home. I was fortunate not to have broken my hip (I just hyper-extended my left leg) and since there have been 3 recent hip breaks with my parents…all the paraphanyia needed, wheel chair, crutches etc. was already there I was able to determine a broken hip or not. I’ve never broken a bone before and never felt pain like that before so I figured I had broken it. But I was an invalid for 3 weeks!!!
I saw most if not all of the Olympics! I thought Ping Pong was claustrophobic until I saw DOUBLES!!! And who knew there were so many different ways to play volleyball and soccer? And Cheerleading? They have Gymnastics!!!
I had a lot of time to reflect…some mornings….before the drugs would take affect I would wonder “what does it feel like to die?….would I know? Will I go to sleep? Is today the day? "It's impossible to tell!"
OK, you control all the money. A man and his wife and child show up and says “Please give me some money and I’ll feed my family tonight” At the back door is a man that says “Give me the money for my business and I’ll give the other man a job and he’ll feed his family every night!” What part of that doesn’t make sense? It’s the fish thing in the Bible for Gods sake!
OK let's do the math: 14% of $20,000,000 is $2.8 million in taxes.....Even 25% of a Walmart managers say...$100,000 is only $25,000.....who paid the most?
A General Motors ad for Chevy says they have had their greatest year! What does that mean? It wasnt for volume, or profit and they still owe the tax payers 25 Billion dollars which we will probably neve see a dime of. That's my dollar paying for the ad Mr. President!
I usually flip the bird when I see a Prius!
Ya know I do have a plan “B”. Plan “B” is the plan of survival….maybe not total recession but close. Ya know, I’ve never tried to look at this any other way.
I’ve been saved by the bell, pulled from the train….so many times
I’ll have some “splainen” to do to my creditors but it would be fun and worth it!
Thanks for the Spiritual Energy and Prayers. Bob
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Life From Here--Update July Break
First of all, and, I meant to say this in my last Post. I was disappointed when the Duke trial did more to me than it did to the beast. But I don’t want to come across as not having faith in their wonderful efforts there and especially the dedicated staff. I knew what I was getting myself into and no I didn’t even bother to read all the paperwork. If pond scum works give it to me!
For those that know, my foot has healed.
I get a reprieve. My white blood counts were a little low and I heard the Doc saying through my usual 10:00 AM fog if I felt OK. And I would say….yeah…..I’m OK. So he decided I needed a break, clear my head and gain some weight, so I’ll have a couple of weeks off to try and get to the new norm. HOT DOG!
Yea though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death….I will fear no evil……’cause I’m the meanest SOB in the Valley! Come and get me!
Keep Those Spiritual Thoughts and Prayers Coming! Bob
For those that know, my foot has healed.
I get a reprieve. My white blood counts were a little low and I heard the Doc saying through my usual 10:00 AM fog if I felt OK. And I would say….yeah…..I’m OK. So he decided I needed a break, clear my head and gain some weight, so I’ll have a couple of weeks off to try and get to the new norm. HOT DOG!
Yea though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death….I will fear no evil……’cause I’m the meanest SOB in the Valley! Come and get me!
Keep Those Spiritual Thoughts and Prayers Coming! Bob
 |
| July 11, 2012 |
Monday, July 9, 2012
Life From Here. BFTD July Update
It’s been a while but I don’t have a lot of info. My last PSA showed a reduction, albeit slight.
I had labs today and no frantic calls so I must be good.
I try to carry a cane sometimes to avoid a fall. I’ve never been hurt but it could happen. My legs are getting weaker.
Ya know this may get ugly as time goes by. I've already had a few people ask to be taken off the list. Let me know.
Last week my labs showed my red blood cells dangerously low (notice how they always say “dangerously low”). Well, I needed to get an infusion. Two bags, 2 hours a bag. I guess I have been sheltered in the sterile and clear world of plasma…they brought out real blood….it was red and in a bag….It was like a scene from Twilight! I thought it was kinda creepy…..Sure made me feel better though.
My best week is the 3rd week after treatment. It’s not so great anymore but still better than the first 2 weeks.
My greatest current concern is my weight loss. I’m holding steady at 152-158 depending on what I’m wearing but the appliance that had plugged the hole from my mouth to my nose is no longer effective.
I’ve mentioned before that I’ve never been a Smoothie kinda guy….and, the protein is “Curds and Whey”. But, I had to do something so I looked for a nose plug that would allow me to drink milkshakes and Smoothies though a straw….not an easy task. I did find something, ear plugs…the problem was the size that fit my nose…are blue. So if you see me drinking anything through a straw, my nostrils will probably be blue. Kinda match my eyes but still not a good look.
The two friends I stay with at the beach both live across the street from the water but the deep sand can sometimes present a challenge. One house is a block down from a very nice Public Walkway. It has a bridge over the deep sand and a ramp so it’s easy to walk across. The challenge is the parking. Plenty of spaces but people get there early….and all the spaces are gone. So Friday morning I decided to get up early grab a biscuit and go get a parking space….I went to Hardees and I ate most of it. I then went to the Public Parking and as the only one there I backed into the first space next to the Beach to await my friends. My 12-year old ultimate driving machine has seats that will go completely horizontal so I laid all the way back, windows cracked I could hear the waves, the seagulls and smell the salt air…I almost dosed……that was when I first saw…the Cop!….He was a Grizzly looking fella about 9 feet tall. From my back seat perspective he looked like a right angle peering into my car. As I began raising the seat..I was real glad there was no “anti-nausea” medicine on the dash but I was also real glad I didn’t have blue nostrils. “You’re not allowed to sleep in your car sir” He boomed. Well, I’m just saving a space and waiting for my friends I said….I even showed him the biscuit receipt that proved I was at Hardees at 6:15. He seemed satisfied and walked back to his car, which he had also backed in right next to me, and began doing paperwork on his computer.
It was hard to tell if he actually got into his car or "put it on"…he was so big!
So he’s there doing paperwork and next door I’m taking all the pain, steroids and other drugs I take to make the day work….must have been quite a site.
I’m still waiting for the FDA to approve the latest and greatest drug. I’m not too optimistic but can and do have hope. I’m still in this fight!
Family is Family and most family members will, at the end of the day, stick by you and love you…they’re family.
Friends however are chosen on merit and mutual respect. You can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends and I must say…I have so many and my 5-finger friends are there for me.
One of my friends emailed me that a friend will help you move….a 5-finger friend will help you move a dead body! Bizarre but the truth!
Keep the Spiritual Lights and Prayers coming! It’s worked so far. Bob
I had labs today and no frantic calls so I must be good.
I try to carry a cane sometimes to avoid a fall. I’ve never been hurt but it could happen. My legs are getting weaker.
Ya know this may get ugly as time goes by. I've already had a few people ask to be taken off the list. Let me know.
Last week my labs showed my red blood cells dangerously low (notice how they always say “dangerously low”). Well, I needed to get an infusion. Two bags, 2 hours a bag. I guess I have been sheltered in the sterile and clear world of plasma…they brought out real blood….it was red and in a bag….It was like a scene from Twilight! I thought it was kinda creepy…..Sure made me feel better though.
My best week is the 3rd week after treatment. It’s not so great anymore but still better than the first 2 weeks.
My greatest current concern is my weight loss. I’m holding steady at 152-158 depending on what I’m wearing but the appliance that had plugged the hole from my mouth to my nose is no longer effective.
I’ve mentioned before that I’ve never been a Smoothie kinda guy….and, the protein is “Curds and Whey”. But, I had to do something so I looked for a nose plug that would allow me to drink milkshakes and Smoothies though a straw….not an easy task. I did find something, ear plugs…the problem was the size that fit my nose…are blue. So if you see me drinking anything through a straw, my nostrils will probably be blue. Kinda match my eyes but still not a good look.
The two friends I stay with at the beach both live across the street from the water but the deep sand can sometimes present a challenge. One house is a block down from a very nice Public Walkway. It has a bridge over the deep sand and a ramp so it’s easy to walk across. The challenge is the parking. Plenty of spaces but people get there early….and all the spaces are gone. So Friday morning I decided to get up early grab a biscuit and go get a parking space….I went to Hardees and I ate most of it. I then went to the Public Parking and as the only one there I backed into the first space next to the Beach to await my friends. My 12-year old ultimate driving machine has seats that will go completely horizontal so I laid all the way back, windows cracked I could hear the waves, the seagulls and smell the salt air…I almost dosed……that was when I first saw…the Cop!….He was a Grizzly looking fella about 9 feet tall. From my back seat perspective he looked like a right angle peering into my car. As I began raising the seat..I was real glad there was no “anti-nausea” medicine on the dash but I was also real glad I didn’t have blue nostrils. “You’re not allowed to sleep in your car sir” He boomed. Well, I’m just saving a space and waiting for my friends I said….I even showed him the biscuit receipt that proved I was at Hardees at 6:15. He seemed satisfied and walked back to his car, which he had also backed in right next to me, and began doing paperwork on his computer.
It was hard to tell if he actually got into his car or "put it on"…he was so big!
So he’s there doing paperwork and next door I’m taking all the pain, steroids and other drugs I take to make the day work….must have been quite a site.
I’m still waiting for the FDA to approve the latest and greatest drug. I’m not too optimistic but can and do have hope. I’m still in this fight!
Family is Family and most family members will, at the end of the day, stick by you and love you…they’re family.
Friends however are chosen on merit and mutual respect. You can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends and I must say…I have so many and my 5-finger friends are there for me.
One of my friends emailed me that a friend will help you move….a 5-finger friend will help you move a dead body! Bizarre but the truth!
Keep the Spiritual Lights and Prayers coming! It’s worked so far. Bob
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Life From Here--June update
In "Life From Here" any victory is a good one…my PSA went down. Not much in the overall scheme of things but it didn’t go up which is the good news. So I’m sitting here getting the goods. This drug only takes about an hour but I’m having to get Phosphorus infused which is a 4 ½ hour event….thanks Duke!
I’ve lost so much weight the appliance used to block the hole that formed last go round, between my mouth and nose isn’t effective for now so I have to sorta throw what I drink to my left side……it looks like a tick, but it beats having chocolate Boost running out my nose. People see that, think its blood and think.....Brain Tumor!!!
Since few, including me, seem to be able to post comments on the Blog most people just hit reply on my original email and comment after I post on the Blog. Mostly words of encouragement or questions. The number one question is “ How do you keep you sense of humor through this?”
I grew up in a household that had a lot of humor. At home and in my later family we adhered to what we called the WISH method. Work ethic, Independence, & Sense of Humor.
I may have mentioned this before. After over a hundred Posts ole Chemo-Sabe can’t remember. But, I realized something in college that literally changed my life. You how sometimes you’re in a bad situation, not really life threatening but, a flat tire in the wrong neighborhood or something…..and you’re scared and feel threatened. Two weeks later you’re at a dinner party and telling the story and you and everyone else is laughing about the story and the antics? Well, if you recognize that while it’s going on it settles the situation and you’re thinking what a great story this is going to make.
I was at the Beach this past week, got a little tan, which means you’re healthy right? But, I had an unusual, one-day experience. It was a weakness in my knees that prevented me from walking with any speed at all and an overall unstableness. Getting up from a chair or out of the car was very difficult. So I used one of my Fathers canes. In public, it had a dramatic effect! Some people would look at the cane and then me, others would see me and “oh, he has a cane!” People would get out of the way, they would offer you seats. Sure better than people thinking you're drunk! I walked in to Lowes to buy a grill and they waved the assembly fee! People are Great!
As I mentioned in my last Post, my Dad died June 17th. June 21st, part of the Summer Solstice he would have been 92. I miss ya Dad!
Well, after all this time (and being a lab rat) I see all of the above as good news. I will have Nadir Weekend (See last Post)this weekend and feel like I have the Flu with a hangover for 3 days and then Back From The Dead! It's working!
Keep those Prayers and that Spiritual Light coming! Bob
I’ve lost so much weight the appliance used to block the hole that formed last go round, between my mouth and nose isn’t effective for now so I have to sorta throw what I drink to my left side……it looks like a tick, but it beats having chocolate Boost running out my nose. People see that, think its blood and think.....Brain Tumor!!!
Since few, including me, seem to be able to post comments on the Blog most people just hit reply on my original email and comment after I post on the Blog. Mostly words of encouragement or questions. The number one question is “ How do you keep you sense of humor through this?”
I grew up in a household that had a lot of humor. At home and in my later family we adhered to what we called the WISH method. Work ethic, Independence, & Sense of Humor.
I may have mentioned this before. After over a hundred Posts ole Chemo-Sabe can’t remember. But, I realized something in college that literally changed my life. You how sometimes you’re in a bad situation, not really life threatening but, a flat tire in the wrong neighborhood or something…..and you’re scared and feel threatened. Two weeks later you’re at a dinner party and telling the story and you and everyone else is laughing about the story and the antics? Well, if you recognize that while it’s going on it settles the situation and you’re thinking what a great story this is going to make.
I was at the Beach this past week, got a little tan, which means you’re healthy right? But, I had an unusual, one-day experience. It was a weakness in my knees that prevented me from walking with any speed at all and an overall unstableness. Getting up from a chair or out of the car was very difficult. So I used one of my Fathers canes. In public, it had a dramatic effect! Some people would look at the cane and then me, others would see me and “oh, he has a cane!” People would get out of the way, they would offer you seats. Sure better than people thinking you're drunk! I walked in to Lowes to buy a grill and they waved the assembly fee! People are Great!
As I mentioned in my last Post, my Dad died June 17th. June 21st, part of the Summer Solstice he would have been 92. I miss ya Dad!
Well, after all this time (and being a lab rat) I see all of the above as good news. I will have Nadir Weekend (See last Post)this weekend and feel like I have the Flu with a hangover for 3 days and then Back From The Dead! It's working!
Keep those Prayers and that Spiritual Light coming! Bob
Monday, June 11, 2012
Life From Here---Back From The Dead
New readers, Nadir (nay deer) is the period of time when the chemo drug is really doing it’s thing with your blood counts and so on and you feel like you are pregnant, hung over and have the flu for 3 days.
I’ve always scheduled the treatment on Tuesday and the Nadir kicks in late Friday or early Saturday and hopefully by Monday you start to feel better.
The term Back From The Dead addresses the days after Nadir. This time took a little longer. At the end of the day I think my stint as a Lab Rat at Duke, damned near killed me….and I have to get back to “normal” mentally and physically to fight another day.
I feel optimistic that there may be a positive effect going on because I have certain lymph nodes that don’t seem to be raging like they were. Blood counts are improving and today June 11, 2012, I feel more normal than I have in 8 weeks. If you felt like this you would probably call in sick but from Nadir it’s so much better.
You probably have this too but in my world, my “Life From Here”, I call them my “Five Finger Friends”. These are the friends, or couples, that are on your first hand when you think of who are your real friends…not family……different list! Friends! The ones you can always count on… Oh sure it can be six or ten sometimes but most of us just have Five…it is and should be a very exclusive list! I’ve never mentioned this to the Five….but, my guess is they each know if they’re on the list.
Anyway, it’s funny how things work. I had gotten an email from an old time (40 years or so) acquaintance within the last 2 weeks. She was responding to my most recent Post. And she does so occasionally with kind words and encouragement. My true connection to her though is the fact that she was a college roommate to one of my Five Finger Friends. This past June the 4th out of the clear blue…..the acquaintance collapsed and died in her back yard….I know none of us get out alive but if you are young or old or real old or real young…….my message is to check on your own mortality and make life adjustments accordingly. I’ve said before it’s hard to get real serious about it when you aren’t facing a dragon but then neither was my friend….I’m sure she didn’t think I would out live her.
I lost my Dad a few of weeks ago and I had been told that the loss of a parent reminded you of your own mortality. It’s true but I’ve been thinking about my mortality for 3 years, I’m really starting to miss him.
If you look down below and link into my 2010 and a lot of 2011 archive posts are regarding food, lack of appetite how I dealt with it, some tricks of the trade as it were on how to keep yourself nourished during this treatment and so on. It’s mostly funny stuff. I have to deal with a lot of that stuff now but I’m not starting at 195 pounds like it was then. At the end of the day the effects of being a Lab Rat were…let’ s say less than stellar! I started in March at 179 pounds and I’m currently at 154.
Everybody, including my Doctor, keep asking me if I’m drinking Boost or Ensure and YES I but as far as I’m concerned that’s “Curds and Whey!” I’m a carnivore I want animal protein not Soy! Shrimp! Chicken Wings! Small rodents!
PLEASE…don’t make or send me food unless we talk.
In the movie Hombre with Paul Newman as a half bred they’re in a stagecoach talking about American Indians. The lady says “Oh I hear they eat dog!” Paul, says to her “Have you ever been hungry lady? I don’t mean “ready for Supper” but so hungry the front on you stomach is in your back? Heh!…You’d eat the dog and fight to suck the bones!” I would eat grubs out of a log if I had to….and may yet!
Texting and driving has to end! Big Brother or not…end it with reasonable laws and Applications….kinda like seat belts…lesser of the 2 evils…what’s happening to my Conservative self?
But here’s the deal! All of our local TV stations are promoting a down load of their Traffic App for your smart phone….so it’s OK to drive and check traffic.
The new rage in coffee are these single packet machines that brew one cup at a time of gourmet coffee. They are very expensive for what they are. At Duke they had one on each floor at the complimentary counter. There I was the only one that seemed know how to use it (a messy self taught) so I ended up some days helping others make coffee. …it ain’t that good!…….A Mr. Coffee would be fine for me!
After several setbacks these past 8 weeks I plan to be able to get back into reasonable shape to continue to fight the fight!
Keep the Light and Prayers coming cause I’m clawing my way back!
Bob
I’ve always scheduled the treatment on Tuesday and the Nadir kicks in late Friday or early Saturday and hopefully by Monday you start to feel better.
The term Back From The Dead addresses the days after Nadir. This time took a little longer. At the end of the day I think my stint as a Lab Rat at Duke, damned near killed me….and I have to get back to “normal” mentally and physically to fight another day.
I feel optimistic that there may be a positive effect going on because I have certain lymph nodes that don’t seem to be raging like they were. Blood counts are improving and today June 11, 2012, I feel more normal than I have in 8 weeks. If you felt like this you would probably call in sick but from Nadir it’s so much better.
You probably have this too but in my world, my “Life From Here”, I call them my “Five Finger Friends”. These are the friends, or couples, that are on your first hand when you think of who are your real friends…not family……different list! Friends! The ones you can always count on… Oh sure it can be six or ten sometimes but most of us just have Five…it is and should be a very exclusive list! I’ve never mentioned this to the Five….but, my guess is they each know if they’re on the list.
Anyway, it’s funny how things work. I had gotten an email from an old time (40 years or so) acquaintance within the last 2 weeks. She was responding to my most recent Post. And she does so occasionally with kind words and encouragement. My true connection to her though is the fact that she was a college roommate to one of my Five Finger Friends. This past June the 4th out of the clear blue…..the acquaintance collapsed and died in her back yard….I know none of us get out alive but if you are young or old or real old or real young…….my message is to check on your own mortality and make life adjustments accordingly. I’ve said before it’s hard to get real serious about it when you aren’t facing a dragon but then neither was my friend….I’m sure she didn’t think I would out live her.
I lost my Dad a few of weeks ago and I had been told that the loss of a parent reminded you of your own mortality. It’s true but I’ve been thinking about my mortality for 3 years, I’m really starting to miss him.
If you look down below and link into my 2010 and a lot of 2011 archive posts are regarding food, lack of appetite how I dealt with it, some tricks of the trade as it were on how to keep yourself nourished during this treatment and so on. It’s mostly funny stuff. I have to deal with a lot of that stuff now but I’m not starting at 195 pounds like it was then. At the end of the day the effects of being a Lab Rat were…let’ s say less than stellar! I started in March at 179 pounds and I’m currently at 154.
Everybody, including my Doctor, keep asking me if I’m drinking Boost or Ensure and YES I but as far as I’m concerned that’s “Curds and Whey!” I’m a carnivore I want animal protein not Soy! Shrimp! Chicken Wings! Small rodents!
PLEASE…don’t make or send me food unless we talk.
In the movie Hombre with Paul Newman as a half bred they’re in a stagecoach talking about American Indians. The lady says “Oh I hear they eat dog!” Paul, says to her “Have you ever been hungry lady? I don’t mean “ready for Supper” but so hungry the front on you stomach is in your back? Heh!…You’d eat the dog and fight to suck the bones!” I would eat grubs out of a log if I had to….and may yet!
Texting and driving has to end! Big Brother or not…end it with reasonable laws and Applications….kinda like seat belts…lesser of the 2 evils…what’s happening to my Conservative self?
But here’s the deal! All of our local TV stations are promoting a down load of their Traffic App for your smart phone….so it’s OK to drive and check traffic.
The new rage in coffee are these single packet machines that brew one cup at a time of gourmet coffee. They are very expensive for what they are. At Duke they had one on each floor at the complimentary counter. There I was the only one that seemed know how to use it (a messy self taught) so I ended up some days helping others make coffee. …it ain’t that good!…….A Mr. Coffee would be fine for me!
After several setbacks these past 8 weeks I plan to be able to get back into reasonable shape to continue to fight the fight!
Keep the Light and Prayers coming cause I’m clawing my way back!
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