Back From The Dead 6

Back From The Dead 6 Well, this wasn’t the worst I’ve had and not the best.......…so it goes. NADIR is by definition a point below the center line….way below. I think I’ve mentioned in previous posts that the routine is this: I get treatment on Tuesday (every 3 weeks) and have until Saturday before it really hits. The treatment consist of the chemo drug, the clinical trial drug (or not), an anti nausea drug (thanks, I also have my own), a heavy dose of steroids. Every other time a dose of Zometa for calcium. I then spend Wednesday, Thursday & Friday getting ready. I’m like a little squirrel gathering nuts for the winter, getting all the things I know I will need and more importantly.......the food I know I will eat......because of the steroids they give me.......I may also decide to paint somebodys' garage along the way as well! Then I just hunker down and wait. I've learned new tricks each time, like the eating thing. If you’ve read my previous posts you know that I eat to live I don’t live to eat. When I realized that keeping solid protein in my stomach gives me energy (protein shakes will only do so much) I made adjustments. A big thing I’ve learned is not to panic........before, if I didn’t eat by 10:00 am I was sure I would look like a kid from Biafra by dinner, by the next day all that would be left was a skeleton.......So keeping your head on straight about some of this stuff is critical for survival. Last time I mentioned that I had been cutting up pieces of Slim Jims and swallowing it to get protein in my body, well I’ve gone gourmet on that.........Shrimp is my friend and I guess it’s got more protein cause it really does the job!!! I’ll cut off a few nano pieces, drop in the back of my throat and down it with a gulp of water…..I probably look like a mother bird feeding her young........you get the visual........My taste was better this time but not enough to really be able to chew with out gagging. So chirp, chirp!! I’m in a business where you eat what you kill!!!! There isn’t much out there for anybody in commercial real estate. So everything I own is for sale except.....the sailboat (a lifelong philosophy. A boat means 2 good things, you are on the water and there is a roof over your head. No time soon, I hope). I keep thinking about the old 60’s song “Me and Bobby Magee”. Janis Joplin sang it but Khris Kristofferson wrote it. The main line is “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose”. A very dear friend (she’ll read this and know who she is) wrote a paper….maybe a thesis, that was titled “Necessary Losses”. I guess those losses happen through out life......the big ones we remember the little ones.....not so much. Me and TV: I’ll admit I watch my share of TV. While in NADIR I watch a lot of it! Weekends suck now that football and the Olympics are over. During the week there is some bizzaro stuff out there, especially the commercials………Everybody thinks you need to buy gold for your portfolio. Gordon Liddy is telling us all to buy gold.......isn’t he the guy that went to prison for the Watergate thing? "So who do you trust? Me or you’re lying eyes?" Anyway; they sell used cars, all kinds of investments, how to sue people, how to avoid the IRS and sooooo many cell phones or accessories, one turns your car radio in to a hands free for your cell phone! Only $20! But wait! If I order today they will cut the price to just $10.........and better yet! Order today and they will send me two for $10, " just pay separate S&H". I mean do the math.....they’re still making money on this thing at $5?, I think the real money is in shipping and handling. I saw a guy was that was selling “Survival Seeds”!!!! A very professional and serious commercial................. He held up a tube that was said to contain enough seed to plant an acre of various fruits and vegetables. So if the world goes to hell you’ll be able to feed your family, or sell the seeds..........called it an investment!! What if all this were to happen in the winter?? Can you stave off that hunger long enough for the seeds to grow? I think if it were to come to that..........I would take my .40 cal. Automatic and shoot some deer........might even look up one of the guys that bought the seeds and threaten to shoot them too if he didn't share. Investment my ass. I don’t dwell on “why me” but things sure went from chicken salad to chicken shit real fast.......…don’t know if you believe in this kind of thing but it makes me wonder…....at some point did I walk out of a building and make a left turn when it should have been a right and that changed everything? (woo woo, I know) Kinda like the theory that if a butterfly flaps it’s wings in Africa it causes a hurricane in the U.S……….Before I had so much in my life I used hear people say “less is more”……well that’s BS……..more is more! I’m sitting here with some friends who are watching the movie 2012. Here’s what I think about: The Mayans figured out the celestial thing, earth, moon,sky, so on......so they made a calendar with this information chiseled on it....... Have you ever seen the Mayan calendar?.....its the size of a medium tombstone and must weigh 1,000s of pounds! So they go to the head chiseler, Xanado or whoever, and tell him to start projecting these celestial numbers and start chiseling out calendars. Well Xanado or maybe even his son, got to the year 2012…….which for them is still 3,000 years in the future.......and he said "I think this has got us covered for now" and he quit......no end of days.....no explosions, just got tired of chiseling and moving around those heavy chunks of stone......... Remember y2k? Man made global warming? Swine flu? Big bucks are being spent or were spent on those big hairballs! As always, I'm aware of your prayers and spiritual support and thank you all for it. I feel it and it helps.............trust me.....this is not what is going to get me!!!!!!! B.