I talked to the nurse today and I’m still in the process of being approved but it all seems to be on track. I’m a little concerned about the insurance. The Doc said that the meds cost $5,000…….per dose? It didn’t seem as bad as the chemo but then later I realized…..It’s a daily dose! That really can’t be…can it? I read the “side effects” for the new drug ZYTIGA. Didn’t seem too bad…I’ve heard worse on TV! I didn’t see projectile vomiting as an effect…so that’s a good thing. I have to monitor my liver though…..but it’s fine, busy turning wine into urine!
I’m now 6 weeks away from my last chemo treatment and kinda, sorta thought I would feel better than I do.…..it’s the extreme fatigue that is hard to push through….it makes you feel like you need to lay down and sleep but if you do….you won’t sleep.
My legs and arms feel as if I’ve just walked up 4 flights of steps carrying groceries…but my friend Tylenol takes care of that.
The reality is that even though I’m sure some of this is hangover from the chemo most of what I’m feeling now is the cancer itself. That’s really scary because you’re feeling the actual beast and know that it’s attacking your body.
It also reminds you what a big pot of dodo you’re really in.
It does have its symptoms….cancer related fatigue (CRF) is one of them…..ever notice that every malady out there has reduced itself to initials. Bronchitis is now COPD, Rheumatoid Arthritis is now RA. Low testosterone (Can’t get it up!) is Low T.....well I have CRF
I guess I’ve mentioned enough times that this has been a life changing experience…not a bad change….as a matter of fact I feel so much more grounded and free…..I guess the price to get here was pretty steep….that’s why I’m so determined to beat this thing, ‘cause if I can come out of this with the beast at bay or gone and my mental head where it is then I’ll be more than OK….I’ll be free and healthy.
I know I’m not alone but I’ve never had a house of walls fall on me like this before….I continue to get them thrown off, one by one, but sometimes there’s a domino effect and more walls fall on top.
Sometimes I wonder where I would be (versus HERE) if the cancer had never come back….it’s sure been an unexpected detour in my life.
Damn! Maybe that’s why some patients get so angry……based on what could have been…..I really can’t go there….who knows how things might have been…..maybe worse than HERE!
As John Denver sang…..”Sometimes the answer is… it’s just that it’s just that way”
I'm not a complainer..…I find it self serving and whiney……and a baby isn’t going to win this war…..I really do believe I will beat this thing! Sometimes I hate to say that out loud because everybody with cancer says it!…….…..but trust me on this one!
A lot of people make food for me. It’s always good…even if it’s not!
I take that back, I haven’t had anything bad….and if I don’t have to make it….its good!
Therefore I have a drawer full of little Tupperware kinda bowls and enough aluminum foil to build a space suit…Yeah!
More Lessons I’ve learned:
1. Tell those that you Love…..that you do…..You never know.
2. There’s always someone out there that’s in worse shape than you are.
3. Never underestimate the power of a smile...yours or theirs.
Don’t we all wish we could fly? I mean really fly…like Superman fly….Wouldn’t that be cool?
There probably wouldn’t even be any cars! Why take a car when you can fly!!!!
Bless all of you for taking the time to read this and sending me your Energy and Prayers. Bob
There have been other articles in the Wall Street
ReplyDeleteabout the cost. Some treatments are up to $96K per
year. I guess you need to clarify that, but what
is the downside? You are clairvoyant! How many listings do you have for swamp land in Florida?
Hey,this is going to be difficult tomorrow! Now, I
ReplyDeletehave to convince two realtors how great my talents
are. How good is my magic!