Book Excerpt

Chapter Three

I got my first taste of being a lifeguard at the beach when I was 14, before we moved down there. The folks who had the beach rights at the time had a vacancy and I was in the right place at the right time, no experience other than I was a strong swimmer. While on duty one day an extremely unattractive young “mountain” girl with 3 teeth came up to me and asked me to autograph a cup I had thrown away…..a cup!...she had dug it out of the trash!...... I didn’t know what to do but sign the damn thing.....but from then on I was a Rock Star!!!!! I thought “this can work for me”.

At 16 I started working at Ocean Drive (the elite place to be), the big time! It was “Here” that I learned a lot of things that would affect my life.....both good and bad.

The main thing I learned through a series of events was humility and it seemed that every time I tried to be a “Rock Star” I would get bitten in the ass and knocked down to size

For example, my friend "Neese" and I stopped by a house party of about 6 girls; they had been on my area of the beach that day and invited me to come over and bring a friend. Now Neese was one of those guys that while not handsome seemed to be attractive and was never at a loss to find a good looking date. The girl I was to be with had a friend and the friend didn’t want to be with Neese…. So after a few whispers with "my" date…….I stormed out and said in my most audible stage voice “come on Neese! We’re Lifeguards for God’s sake ……….do you think we can find a date????”.........…I walked out the front door.... and……..fell down 2 flights of steps. I ended up with sand on my nose........Neese ended up dating the girl I was supposed to be with.

You would think that even at 18 I would have learned from that and I did for a while but the same thing haunts me today. Whereas it is a good reality check for me sometimes the damage is already done by the time I figure out what happened.



Chapter Five
The guy that was head life guard in Ocean Drive the year before me lived on a golf course in Greensboro. His parents were out of town for the weekend and he and I made a concoction popular at the beach called “Green Goddamn”, because when you tasted it the first time you went “Goddamn!”and of course it was green. It was made with grain alcohol lime, lime juice, lemonade and orange juice….it went down way too smooth!

Have you ever noticed how many funny stories involve grain alcohol or tequila….”well we start taking tequila shots”
Any way; the GGO (Greater Greensboro Open) Golf tournament was going on, it was a big deal in North Carolina back in those days, kinda like the Quail Hollow is today. We had made the GD in a tub and we each had a 1 gallon milk jug of the stuff to last us for the day.

Because of the crowds we couldn't see the play from his backyard so after a couple of hours of drinking we decided to climb the water tower next to his house. Big mistake!

We found that climbing the tower with a jug in your hand was a challenge so we tied the jugs to our wrist with about two feet of white rope.
We were half way up the tower, jugs dangling below us, when the first police cars showed up.
Since it was a televised event the cameras were on us as well...didn't make the news...When we got back down, the GGO official pointed his finger at me and told me I was “Bannnnnnnnned from the GGO for EVERRRRRRRRRRRR!.....Who gave shit!