Back From Treatment # 20

I can’t say it’s Back From the Dead…..not like before when I had the “Pregnant Flu”.
The most obvious symptoms of the clinical trial drug are the “Hoof and Mouth”……my tongue feels like I licked a sidewalk, my sinuses hurt and my appetite is still not there. Other than that…...I’m Good!!!

You know, the clinical trial is a blind study so there is a 50/50 chance I’m not even getting the drug. Won’t I look stupid then!!....My Doc is confident that I’m on the drug and besides; my imagination isn't this good.

I’ve increased my exercise regime (such as it is……I did a push-up the other day ; ). Seriously, I’ve been working out with the anticipation of actually gaining some weight. I have the rare opportunity to get it back on the right way.
I still only weigh about 166 lbs. and my best weight is between 175 and 180 so I have to continue to try to add calories. (TMI)

Speaking of side effects….the commercials on TV for prescription drugs are…….“bizarro”. I guess it’s for legal reasons, they have to say the side effects that “may occur”, my God!....“May cause aggressive behavior!”...“Going out and driving in the middle of the night and not remembering it, has been reported”.....“If you have thoughts of suicide call your doctor (right!)”,.....has been known to cause cancer in some patients!”(All real).
Who would dream of using the drug after all that? I haven’t seen one yet that warned of “projectile vomiting” but it’s coming!

5 years! Yep! statisticlly that's my life expectancy. Not to be morbid but to share the experience.....what would you do if your 5 year plan was your final 5 year plan....and you knew it? (I don't believe it for me....I just don't and never have! It’s just a feeling! I have a 10 year plan! ) But…..it is in the back of my mind…...so I need to at least have a back up in case there's a half time surprise! And of course, God forbid, I may out live all of you!

Ya know, I've had fun here, a very full life and I’ve learned that to have a full life you have to have to take the risk of getting the bad stuff if you want any chance at the good stuff….I think I’ve done pretty well so far.
I don't want to leave but it's going to happen to all of us eventually!

I hope I wasn’t too dismal as I’ve said before part of my purpose is to share the experience that I hope none of you ever have to live through.

Ya know, it might be a good idea to find out when the 5 years started, I hope it wasn't 4 years ago!


Take care all, I'm fine and will continue to be...and again; thank you for the Spiritual Light and Prayers. B.