Life From Here....# 107....The Rat years

I went in for a non-event visit at Duke on Wednesday…they got my vitals and I shed my blood for them. Didn’t hear anything about phosphorus cause it had not come back so I left and was home by 3…Sweet! I got a call from my Charlotte Doc today and I have to go in Tuesday for another infusion of phosphorus! I’m also deficient in vitamin D! Damn it! I’ve been in the sun and solar powered my entire life…..it’s almost embarrassing that I would be deficient in D.

Some of you may recall last year…or was it the year before…..things can sometimes get “Fuzzy” (Chemo-sabe). Anyway I had a hole develop between my sinus and the back of my jaw and down into my mouth. One of the worst effects of that was that I couldn’t even drink a milk shake through a straw due to a lack of suction…..Oh, and I guess I whistled when I talked sometimes…...it usually produced a snicker….theirs. I had an appliance made that filled in the hole and restored the 2 teeth that had been lost from the process. Well, I’ve lost some weight (167 from 179) but it has remained steady these last few weeks…..only now…the appliance no longer works, as a matter of fact, it channels anything I drink up and out my right nostril! So I ask you…...what would be the better look? No back teeth (and the constant sound of Banjos) or your friends and guests seeing milk pour out of your nose everytime you take a sip? Decisions, decisions!

The blood work has indicated that my PSA has continued to rise....I don't even want to know.  At this stage of the fight it doesn't really matter...it's the scans that matter and that happens in 2 weeks, May 8th.  The Doc told my Clinical Trial nurse that the increase may be due to "a flare or an effect of tumor plasticity or differentiation"..............................What the HELL does that mean!!!!?

Ya know, something I always want to be conscious of is how this affects many or all of you!!!!!! This certainly wouldn’t be my favorite subject to read about……if it hadn’t become my only subject!……..it may be hard to watch, read, listen to….I understand that and I appreciate what part of all of this you guys have to endure.

I keep hoping that when I get my phosphorus, sulfur, gunpowder or whatever it is I need, that I’ll feel better and have more energy cause right now I’m spending the first half of the day trying to eat, taking drugs and making a huge effort to be up no later than noon but the truth is it can sometimes be as late as 2 O’clock! Hell, 3 hours later and its time to start drinking wine again! It’s hard to get things done.

This is old but “There were 2 hunters out in the woods and one of them tripped and accidentally shot the other. He called 911 and screamed to the operator that he thinks he has killed Bubba! What do I do???? The operator said “Well, first of all let’s make sure he’s dead…..a few minutes later she hears a gunshot over the phone and hunter comes back and says “OK, he’s dead…now what?” That joke’s older than me.

The Prayers and Spiritual Light I receive from all of you, in a constant flow, is why I’m still vertical and others are not, so thank you and stay tuned!  This isn't over yet!   Bob